6 Ways to Heal After Divorce from an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

Published on: 11 December 2018 Last Updated on: 23 June 2021
Abusive Marriage

Divorce is in itself a painful process to deal with. However, matters adopt an even more challenging tune when its divorce after an abusive marriage. This is because while the marriage ends with the divorce, effects of the emotional abuse don’t leave overnight.

If anything, these persist over time, impacting your self-esteem and confidence. What’s more, unlike physical abuse, the scars of emotional and psychological abuse are not set on display. Consequently, your struggle may not even be immediately clear to others.

However, that does not mean that you are not strong enough to deal with the implications of an abusive marriage. You’ve survived the separation proceedings, and you can survive with the aftermath too.

6 Ways to Heal After Divorce from an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

Here are six ways to help you through the impacts of an emotionally abusive marriage after a divorce:

1. Change your mindset: It is not going to be easy:

In the US, the divorce rate for every one thousand married women is 16.9. The majority of these women expect to quickly get over things so that they can move on with their life. However, that is easier said than done.

Research notes that survivors of an abusive marriage encounter the emotional effects of fear, anger, and grief in the long haul. This means that divorce is not the final step that bids adieu to your horrors. Instead, you still have the battle to fight.

It is important to know this so that you mold your mindset into understanding that your life will not be a bright sunny day in the post-divorce stages. If anything, you will continue to notice ups and down, and your recovery will take time.

2. Take the time to heal:

Closely related to the first point above is the step to give yourself the time to heal. As hard as we may wish, no spell can fix us quickly after a broken marriage. On top of that, don’t expect the recovery process to be a smooth ride.

Some days, you will feel that you have almost healed and you’re at the greener side of things. Other days may not be so bright though. Therefore, be prepared for both the good and bad days.

3. Forgive yourself:

Regardless of what your ex-husband might have led you to believe, you are not the one at fault. So, don’t let his voice play in your mind or his words pollute your thinking after you have separated.

Your mind may also play deceiving tricks on you, holding you accountable for something that you are not to be blamed for. On top of that, the loss of social status and financial security that come with an intact marriage can also play tricks on your mind.

However, you can’t fully recover unless you forgive yourself. A Toronto-based psychiatrist, Marcia Sirota, elaborates in this regard.

4. De-stress and keep yourself engaged:

Everybody deals differently with stress and anxiety. What’s important, however, is that you pay attention to finding healthy ways for funneling out the shock and stress. Outbursts of anger or yelling on others will only aggravate matters.

Therefore, see what works best for you. For instance, an old hobby or exercise may help lessen the stress. Alternatively, meditation can help alleviate stress. Evidence confirms that dedicating only ten minutes to a simple technique can assist in handling stress, relaxing better, and decreasing anxiety.

The key is to keep busy because crying over spilled milk is not a recommended way to cope with things. At the same time, turning to drink heavily or taking drugs will also not help. Therefore, resort to helpful activities that keep your mind engaged and also help prevent the physical effects of stress.

5. Find creative outlets for the trauma:

Finding creative outlets for all that you’ve been through also helps reduce stress and keeps you engaged. Negative emotions can have lasting impacts. It is always tough to beat them, however, it is not impossible.

Discover what helps you the most. For instance, creating art or writing helps people significantly. A study concludes that making art can help trim stress among seventy-five percent of individuals. Similarly, mounting research also praises the stress-relieving role that penning down your emotions plays.

6. Spend more time with the people who love you:

Another excellent way to sail smoothly through the emotional turmoil is by spending an increasing amount of time with people who love you. These folks will help remind you of how wonderful you are, therefore, making it easy to love yourself again.

Moreover, you can also discuss your feelings with them. Such a group of supportive people is also helpful in removing all the traces of your ex-partner from your life. However, it is crucial to identify supportive people before you spend time with them.

If you end up in the company of toxic people, recovery will shift into tougher gears than easier ones. For example, friends who chose to support your ex. Also, keep away from locations such as restaurants that you may have visited with your ex.

Although spending time with such people and in such locations may not seem like a bad idea at first, but it has psychological repercussions that surface later on. In fact, research notes that revisiting places that you once frequented with your husband can lead you back to him irrespective of how abusive the marriage was.

Wrap up thoughts:

Divorce after an emotionally abusive marriage comes in the company of anger, fear, negative thoughts, and a lot of sadness. While it’s always tough to deal with the trauma, you can always start by giving yourself the time to heal to make it back to life.

Not to mention, you need to accept that the road to recovery is dotted with struggles and instability. If you’re still worried about coming out of an abusive marriage, then it best to seek professional help such as from AbdelHadi & Associates, P. C.

Read Also:

Content Rally wrapped around an online publication where you can publish your own intellectuals. It is a publishing platform designed to make great stories by content creators. This is your era, your place to be online. So come forward share your views, thoughts and ideas via Content Rally.

View all posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related

final wishes

How to Make Sure Your Final Wishes Are Respected

Whether you don’t want your family to be left questioning how they should honor your memory or you want to be prepared for the worst-case scenario, make sure your final wishes are respected when your time comes. This can pose some challenges. Sometimes loved ones won’t fully understand your final wishes. At other times, they might disagree with some of your decisions. So how can you make sure your loved ones honor them? Let’s take a look at what final wishes can include, and some ways you can increase the chances your wishes are respected. What Are Final Wishes? Final wishes are decisions and requests you have related to your end-of-life treatment. This can include: Your preferred type of funeral or memorial service Whether you prefer burial or cremation Where you would like to be buried or where you would like your ashes stored or scattered Specific elements of your funeral service (music, flowers, readings, etc.) Information you would like to have included in your obituary Wishes you have relating to how your children should be raised if they’re minors at the time of your passing Three Ways to Ensure Your Final Wishes Are Respected While your final wishes aren’t guaranteed or legally enforceable, here are three things you can do now to increase the chances your loved ones will follow them. Put Your Final Wishes in Writing It’s important that your final wishes be in writing. This should be separate from your will, as family members might not even see your will before funeral plans are made. Having your final wishes in writing ensures you’ve covered the details. An elder attorney or any attorney who is helping with your will can assist with this, but this isn’t necessary. You can use online forms to guide you, or you can work through them with a trusted individual since they aren’t legal documents. Discuss Your Final Wishes with Loved Ones in Advance After you’ve written your final wishes, make sure loved ones know where they can be found. You might even print copies for those most likely to handle arrangements on your behalf. Go further than that and actually talk about your final wishes with your family. This way you can avoid any misunderstandings and answer questions or concerns they might have to minimize objections later. Make Funeral Arrangements Yourself If you’re in a position to do so, perhaps the best way to ensure your final wishes are respected is to contact funeral homes or cremation providers to pre-arrange your funeral. This way there won’t be any question as to what you want, it can already be paid for, and you won’t have to rely on grieving loved ones to remember and honor your plans. You can pre-plan everything from choosing your funeral director to securing your cemetery plot. A little pre-planning now will let your family know exactly what you want in the end. Don’t put off discussing your final wishes with them until it’s too late. Read Also: Surviving Loss: What To Do With An Estate After You Lose A Loved One Is A Loved One Addicted To Opiates? Here Are Common Signs Of Opiate Use

READ MOREDetails
Mixbook

Want an Amazing Photobook? Choose Mixbook

Designing and producing a photo book is a swift and secure – yet very efficient way of keeping the special moments or offering an exceptional gift without having to break the bank. If you want to prepare your pictures in a new photo book or a separate project, Mixbook retains your uploads Smartphones have transformed photography in various ways. However, one of the downsides of having all your pictures on your phone is that they become expendable. When last did you celebrate an important family vacation or get-together photo in an album? How about the last unforgettable trip you spent with your special someone or your holiday photos in an album together? A photo album is a great way to remember the special occasions in your life. The best photo albums let you sort your pictures down to the best and have them commemorated in hard copy, all organized in a glamorous album for you to relish with family and friends. Want the best-designed and best-quality, check out Mixbook photo books. They use software that is very easy to use, and it, in the long run, makes organizing your photo book fun. Besides, the finishing is so superb that you feel like you have fabricated a work of art rather than wooly printed photos. In a world where online photo book services have become very common, Mixbook has set itself apart among the best. It is among the best photo book website due to its wide range of features. There are plenty of magnificent, completely assembled layouts from which you can select. If you want to reorganize the photos that you have already placed on a specific page, you can use the Swap feature to ease the process. Choose You Should Mixbook: Lots of themes to offer With more than 374 themes available, Mixbook has got you covered regardless of the occasion you want. Whether you are looking for seasonal, family, travel, or romance, we`ve got you covered. Furthermore, the high-quality prints and delightful options of cover and paper guarantees that you get the best-designed collection of memories. Templates are easy to edit The templates are simple and entirely editable to allow you to be as creative or as swift as you prefer. The extra backgrounds make for a remarkable finish, which you can achieve by using different materials with stickers and much more. Moreover, if you want to make the photo book more personal, there are lots of different stickers and materials which eventually make your photo book exceptional. An archive for your photos If you want to rearrange your pictures in a new photo book or a different project, Mixbook retains your uploads. You do not need to start uploading again; you can source from the personal collection you had uploaded. Mixbook is considerate Everyone makes mistakes. If you find that something is wrong with the layout of your photo book, you do not necessarily have to live with the consequences. You have half an hour grace period after placing your order to notice and fix the mistake. Within this period, you can make any corrections without having to cancel the production. Secure and durable packaging They deliver their projects fast. The package comes in cardboard packaging, and it is usually enfolded in cellophane, this is nothing special, although the packaging is typically safe in transit. The cover of your photo album is thick and durable, designed to shield all the pictures in the photo book for a long time. The cover photo usually features accurate coloring and is printed very clearly. Their albums have a flyleaf that projects the pages further, and it offers the project a chic feel. Above everything, they are committed to quality. Their quality of customer care service is also another major reason why it is the best. Any alleged shortcomings all boil down to this one aspect. Featured Image Read Also: 5 Essential Tips for the Traveling Photographer Tips on project statement writing

READ MOREDetails
Bad Habit That Reduces Brain Power

Top Bad Habits That Hurt Your Brain Power

There are certain habits you can form which will enhance your brain power such as using scrabble word finder to enhance your performance at the game. But there are also other habits that are purely detrimental to your brain power and mental fitness at large, and such are the habits you have to put an end to if you desire to continue harnessing the incredible power your brain has. Some of these habits may appear normal, routine and harmless, and unless you consciously make the decision to stop them, you will be doing more harm than good to your brain. They include the following habits-I: Sleeping for less than eight hours: It is recommended that everyone should get at least eight hours of sleep every night, and there is scientific evidence that this is the required number of sleep for optimal health. But it is not just your health that is on the line if you don’t sleep for this recommended hours. Your mental faculties will also be affected, and you will have very high risks of suffering from cognitive impairment. If you make it a habit of not getting enough sleep every single night, brain degeneration may soon occur and with such, you will never tap into the immense powers your brain has. Worrying too much cab reduce your brain power: Though stopping to worry is easier said than done, this is a mental state you don’t want to dwell in for a long time, especially if you are interested in sharpening your brain and getting the most out of your mental faculties. It is always recommended to get rest and do away with the worry so that the habit doesn’t become chronic, because when it does, the levels of hormone cortisol will spike in the brain and this will make the brain cells to lose synapse – this is like the bridge that connects one brain cell to another. This is a form of brain damage that will make it really difficult for you to create a memory or even retrieve what had been stored. Spending too much time indoors: If you are noticing a lapse in your mental faculties and you have been keeping yourself indoors, then be informed that one of the causes of the relapse is because you are not getting enough exposure to the sun. Sunlight is very important to the human health for a number of reasons. It is one of the best sources of vitamin D, and whose deficiency or lack thereof can lead to a decline in the cognitive functions. Even if you are spending more time indoors using scrabble word finder to enhance your brain power, it is still imperative to get outdoors and be exposed to the sun as much as possible. Trying to multitask: You may be tempted to think that you are doing more in a short time by multitasking and you may see it as a way to get things done faster. But if you know that this is always at the expense of your brain power, then you would stop it and you would learn to concentrate on one thing at a time. This is because the act of doing many things at the same time has been found to lower the grey matter density of your brain, and the result of this is poor cognitive and emotional control. For example, individuals with the habit of using their mobile gadgets as they do other things don’t have the ability to concentrate effectively or recall information as fast as compared to those who don’t have such habits. Poor nutrition: Good nutrition is not just great for the physical health, but also important if you want to become a Picasso at the use of your mental faculties. It is a fact that there are food ideal for brain health and others are simply not recommended if you want to get the most out of your mental faculties. As such, it is imperative for you to know what foods to eat and what foods to avoid. The common culprits when it comes to foods that damage the brain include caffeine, alcohol, processed and pre-cooked foods. Always stick to healthy homemade foods for better health and enhanced cognitive functions. Being anti-social: The brain is designed to help us get social and it is important that we be in contact with other people for our brains to function properly. Research indicates that those who social much tend to post better performance on cognitive tests compared to introverts or those who don’t socialize at all. Socializing makes it possible to take a break and avoid any chances of getting stressed. Besides, it will expose you to new people, ideas and challenges that will all work together towards improving your mental acuity. Listening to loud music: When the music is too loud, it ceases to be music, and it turns into noise. This is not just good for your entertainment, but also have direct health impacts such as damage to your eardrums. Additionally, loud music has been associated with a myriad of memory problems, and this is why it is recommended that if you have to listen to the music, let it be at very moderate volumes. Avoiding any form of exercising: You don’t have to be hitting the gym every single day or train for the marathon to aid in your brain health. But complete lack of any form of exercise is not good for your physical health, and most importantly, for your mental health. It is true that not so many people love to exercise due to its physical demands, but this is something you can’t completely avoid if you desire to stay at the top. Several studies have been conducted into the effects of exercising on mental health, and a common conclusion amongst most of them is that exercising can help to improve the memory function of the brain. It doesn’t have to be something really demanding, but going for walks, cycling, or doing some yoga is just sufficient to help you maintain your memory function in a good state. Read More:  5 Protein Enriched Food To Improve Mental Health Five Benefits of Meditation That Will Change Your Life

READ MOREDetails