6 Ways to Heal After Divorce from an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

Published on: 11 December 2018 Last Updated on: 23 June 2021
Abusive Marriage

Divorce is in itself a painful process to deal with. However, matters adopt an even more challenging tune when its divorce after an abusive marriage. This is because while the marriage ends with the divorce, effects of the emotional abuse don’t leave overnight.

If anything, these persist over time, impacting your self-esteem and confidence. What’s more, unlike physical abuse, the scars of emotional and psychological abuse are not set on display. Consequently, your struggle may not even be immediately clear to others.

However, that does not mean that you are not strong enough to deal with the implications of an abusive marriage. You’ve survived the separation proceedings, and you can survive with the aftermath too.

6 Ways to Heal After Divorce from an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

Here are six ways to help you through the impacts of an emotionally abusive marriage after a divorce:

1. Change your mindset: It is not going to be easy:

In the US, the divorce rate for every one thousand married women is 16.9. The majority of these women expect to quickly get over things so that they can move on with their life. However, that is easier said than done.

Research notes that survivors of an abusive marriage encounter the emotional effects of fear, anger, and grief in the long haul. This means that divorce is not the final step that bids adieu to your horrors. Instead, you still have the battle to fight.

It is important to know this so that you mold your mindset into understanding that your life will not be a bright sunny day in the post-divorce stages. If anything, you will continue to notice ups and down, and your recovery will take time.

2. Take the time to heal:

Closely related to the first point above is the step to give yourself the time to heal. As hard as we may wish, no spell can fix us quickly after a broken marriage. On top of that, don’t expect the recovery process to be a smooth ride.

Some days, you will feel that you have almost healed and you’re at the greener side of things. Other days may not be so bright though. Therefore, be prepared for both the good and bad days.

3. Forgive yourself:

Regardless of what your ex-husband might have led you to believe, you are not the one at fault. So, don’t let his voice play in your mind or his words pollute your thinking after you have separated.

Your mind may also play deceiving tricks on you, holding you accountable for something that you are not to be blamed for. On top of that, the loss of social status and financial security that come with an intact marriage can also play tricks on your mind.

However, you can’t fully recover unless you forgive yourself. A Toronto-based psychiatrist, Marcia Sirota, elaborates in this regard.

4. De-stress and keep yourself engaged:

Everybody deals differently with stress and anxiety. What’s important, however, is that you pay attention to finding healthy ways for funneling out the shock and stress. Outbursts of anger or yelling on others will only aggravate matters.

Therefore, see what works best for you. For instance, an old hobby or exercise may help lessen the stress. Alternatively, meditation can help alleviate stress. Evidence confirms that dedicating only ten minutes to a simple technique can assist in handling stress, relaxing better, and decreasing anxiety.

The key is to keep busy because crying over spilled milk is not a recommended way to cope with things. At the same time, turning to drink heavily or taking drugs will also not help. Therefore, resort to helpful activities that keep your mind engaged and also help prevent the physical effects of stress.

5. Find creative outlets for the trauma:

Finding creative outlets for all that you’ve been through also helps reduce stress and keeps you engaged. Negative emotions can have lasting impacts. It is always tough to beat them, however, it is not impossible.

Discover what helps you the most. For instance, creating art or writing helps people significantly. A study concludes that making art can help trim stress among seventy-five percent of individuals. Similarly, mounting research also praises the stress-relieving role that penning down your emotions plays.

6. Spend more time with the people who love you:

Another excellent way to sail smoothly through the emotional turmoil is by spending an increasing amount of time with people who love you. These folks will help remind you of how wonderful you are, therefore, making it easy to love yourself again.

Moreover, you can also discuss your feelings with them. Such a group of supportive people is also helpful in removing all the traces of your ex-partner from your life. However, it is crucial to identify supportive people before you spend time with them.

If you end up in the company of toxic people, recovery will shift into tougher gears than easier ones. For example, friends who chose to support your ex. Also, keep away from locations such as restaurants that you may have visited with your ex.

Although spending time with such people and in such locations may not seem like a bad idea at first, but it has psychological repercussions that surface later on. In fact, research notes that revisiting places that you once frequented with your husband can lead you back to him irrespective of how abusive the marriage was.

Wrap up thoughts:

Divorce after an emotionally abusive marriage comes in the company of anger, fear, negative thoughts, and a lot of sadness. While it’s always tough to deal with the trauma, you can always start by giving yourself the time to heal to make it back to life.

Not to mention, you need to accept that the road to recovery is dotted with struggles and instability. If you’re still worried about coming out of an abusive marriage, then it best to seek professional help such as from AbdelHadi & Associates, P. C.

Read Also:

Content Rally wrapped around an online publication where you can publish your own intellectuals. It is a publishing platform designed to make great stories by content creators. This is your era, your place to be online. So come forward share your views, thoughts and ideas via Content Rally.

View all posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related

Types Of Drugs

Types Of Drugs And Rehabilitation Everyone Should Know About

Drug addiction is present in all corners of the world and is considered one of the most serious problems. In any country, there are people who want to get rid of difficulties and feel euphoria by taking special substances and drugs. Types of drugs are a huge group of names, including the well-known heroin, cocaine, and amphetamine, as well as the names of drugs that are not so popular but cause terrible consequences for the health and life of the addict. What are the types of drugs? It would take a lot of time to list all the known names. But among them, there are some, everyone should know about to recognize the symptoms of addiction and provide help to the patient on time. Once you have all the information and need rehabilitation, you can start looking for regular treatment or even find free rehabs near me. In this article, we’ll also tell you how to do it. What is a drug? To understand what types of drugs there are, you should find out what is meant by the general name of the drugs. A drug is a substance that, when ingested, replaces one or more of the substances involved in metabolism and causes addiction. In the absence of a new drug dose, breakage occurs, which can manifest in various symptoms. It is impossible to combine all types of drugs with the same characteristics. Substances can be presented in different forms - pills, powder, liquid, dry substance, etc. They have different external characteristics, are consumed differently, and have different effects on the body. All types of narcotic substances can be divided into several groups according to the principle of action: stimulants; depressants; psychedelics or hallucinogens. Stimulants have a stimulating effect on the nervous system. A person's blood pressure increases, heart rate increases, and a surge of energy is felt. Depressants, on the contrary, inhibit the work of the nervous system. This group includes opiates obtained from poppy pods, as well as synthetically created analogs. Hallucinogens help change consciousness, feelings, and perception. The drugs are also presented in both natural (mushrooms, dope) and synthetic versions (LSD). The most famous types of drugs: list and description Heroin is the most dangerous narcotic substance, whose birthplace is the poppy fields of Afghanistan. This drug is equal parts opioid and synthetic, originally created for a good purpose - for treatment. But the side effect of the drug turned out to be stronger than its benefits, and today it is exclusively a drug. The effect of taking heroin is manifested in the development of a state of apathy, and detachment from the real world, which manifests itself as a kind of "high". Self-renunciation of heroin is impossible. Cocaine is another quite well-known drug. For the production of the substance, the leaves of the Colombian shrub Coca are used. It has the opposite effect of heroin - it improves concentration, improves attention, and causes a feeling of confidence. Cocaine is instantly highly addictive. As a result of its influence on the body, there is a strong heartbeat, and tachycardia, and the pressure rises, which often becomes the cause of heart attacks. Types of club drugs: barbiturates, ketamine, and ecstasy Many drugs can be bought in nightclubs and other hangout places for young people. Most often, we are talking about barbiturates - synthetic drugs created on the basis of sedative drugs, which are used for treatment but strictly in doses determined by the doctor. In the composition of the drug, these doses are significantly exceeded, leading to a bright hallucinogenic effect and addiction. Death is often the result of addiction to barbiturates. There is another popular type of drug pill - ecstasy. The use of this synthetic stimulant leads to an increase in the level of adrenaline in the body, an increase in body temperature, and a person feels full of energy and does not feel tired. Ecstasy can also cause a heart attack. Ketamine is another popular club drug. This is an anesthetic that causes very bright and strong hallucinations in case of an overdose. The consequence of taking ketamine is mental illness. Other types of drugs One of the analogs of heroin is methadone. It is symbolic that in the United States, methadone is used to treat heroin addiction. With uncontrolled intake, the drug is highly addictive. Crashes when taking methadone can last up to 2 weeks. An expensive analog of street methadone is buprenorphine. For medical purposes, drugs from the group of benzodiazepines help to cope with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. When using tranquilizers as a drug, a feeling of euphoria, relaxation, and lightness appears. Dependence on benzodiazepines leads to disorders of the psyche and nervous system. Amphetamines are drugs that increase heart rate, increase activity, and energy. A person stops feeling tired, is ready for new achievements, and works without a break. When taking a hair dryer, attention increases, and concentration improves. After the drug wears off, there is a period of apathy, fatigue, and paranoia may appear. Cannabis is a popular "easy" solution to the problems of sadness and hopelessness. You can use it both in food and as a smoking mixture. However, cannabis is already legal in a lot of countries, and CBD is widely used as a good painkiller option. LSD is a synthetic psychotropic substance that has a destructive effect on the perception of reality. Taking LSD is accompanied by hallucinations, loss of time, and mental disorders. LSD does not cause addiction and hangovers, but even a single use of the drug leads to very serious consequences for the body. Solvents, glue, and paint are used by those who like to inhale toxic substances. Taking these substances causes a feeling of euphoria and loss of control over one's own actions, which often leads to suicide and accidents. Rehabilitation tips As soon as you notice the first drug addiction symptoms, get at least a consultation at an ordinary or free drug rehab. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll turn out in a rehabilitation center and stay there for months. Sometimes it’s also important to talk to specialists and find out more about how to prevent yourself from unpleasant and dangerous consequences. In a case, you’ve already realized that rehabilitation is a must for you, but you face financial difficulties, there are a lot of ways of getting free addiction help. As the very first step, you would want to google state-funded options of free rehab centers. If you haven’t found anything suitable, try researching specific communities. For example, Christian groups have a lot of options for free drug addiction help for their members. In the very last case, you can also find a free drug guide or tips on the Internet. Additional: Why Hemp Products Are Becoming A New Trend Psychedelic Therapy for Mental Health Conditions 7 Documentaries About Addiction & Recovery Worth Watching

READ MOREDetails
Romantic Gestures

7 All-Time Romantic Gestures That Never Go Wrong

Loving your partner is one thing and showing them that you do is another. Men need to appreciate the importance of their women and vice versa. You will be surprised at how a small positive gesture towards your partner can change the way they see you. The reason why your relationship was so much fun at the beginning is that you did most things right. Your goal was always to impress him or her. If you wanted to find the best date night ideas in Las Vegas, you would have to be creative and also do some homework. The same approach applies when you want to be romantic. Here are 7 romantic gestures that will never get old: 1. Being flirty : Flirting is one of the most effective ways of keeping a relationship interesting. You don’t stop doing it once the relationship advances. It’s probably one of the reasons why your significant other fell in love with you. Flirting creates a buildup that makes your sex life more interesting. It also helps strengthen your bond. 2. Giving her your jacket : Nothing makes a woman feel wanted than always trying your best to make her feel comfortable. Giving her your jacket shows that you care. It’s also a good way to show your protective side. So next time it gets cold throws your coat around her shoulders. This move will always have a romantic undertone to it. 3. Holding hands : This gesture signifies friendship and love, and it’s also been proven to be beneficial to your health. When you hold hands, the nerves in your skin communicate with your core nervous system. Then hormones are released that make you feel warm and pleasant. It’s also a good way for the two of you to communicate with other people that you are in an exclusive relationship. 4. Flowers : Few acts of giving can brighten a woman’s world quicker than bringing her flowers. Many people think that this is a gesture that should be reserved for special occasions. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s an old-school move that will always make her melt. She will absolutely love the thought behind it. 5. Going on dates : This is one area that many couples are missing out on. Going out on a date does not necessarily mean spending hundreds of dollars, so you really have no excuse. As a couple, you should always seek to deepen your bond and how much you understand one another. Dates also enhance the quality of your relationship because they are fun activities. 6. Dressing to impress : Always seek to wow your partner with how you dress. It’s a good way to communicate that you care enough to put your best foot forward as far as trying to impress her is concerned. It doesn’t mean that they won’t accept you when you are not too impressively dressed. Like they say: It’s the little things that make the difference. 7. Compliments : Giving a compliment not only benefits the other person but you as well. If a person is handsome or looks beautiful, let them know it. Don’t just think it, say it. In this era of social media, people have reduced compliments to merely “liking” other people’s pictures or pages. Don’t let that happen in your relationship. Being in a romantic relationship has many benefits. However, in order to maximize these benefits, you must always seek to maintain the spark. These seven gestures should help you keep that fire burning and bring you and you're significant other closer than ever before.

READ MOREDetails
anniversary gifts

Beautiful And Unique Anniversary Gifts For Your Beloved Wife

Honestly, it is not the relationship that can be shared in one or two words. It is something more than that. A relationship that exceeds all kinds of expectations and promises to meet the lifelong aspiration without any fail. Well to celebrate that unique and divine love no day can be more special than an anniversary. Thus, it is time to acknowledge the love, devotion, contribution, and time of your beloved wife by getting the best prestigious gifts for her. Thus, check out the list of Unique Anniversary Gifts. Beautiful And Unique Anniversary Gifts For Your Beloved Wife Animated chocolates: It’s time to make your wife feel utterly special on her special day with the chocolates of her choice. Let's play a game where you can innovate much with the chocolates and give them the desired shape. In order to do so, you thought to recreate the shapes of the chocolates into a newer one. Like you created a cocktail box with different types which include champagne, wine glass, caviar, and martinis. It just looks awesome and she will love to savor in the recreated innovative platter of delicious sweetness. Bath tray with Monogram Your wife has a fascination for decorating the washbasin with flowers so you thought to surprise her with a golden-colored bath tray. It is an awesome addition to her bathroom closet. The one your hose is a bi-color bathroom tray which is mostly in white and gold. But in order to make that superbly special, you got her name monogrammed on the bottom of the tray. The best is that she can decorate the same on the countertop of the bathroom only. Fabric anniversary frame: Maybe this is completely an exquisite gift for your dearest beloved wife. So far on your anniversaries, you have gifted her so many things but this one to a great extent stands out from the bandwagon. It is actually an anniversary frame that is made of white linen cloth. And on top of that cloth there is a beautiful embroidery of a loving couple on one side. And the other side of the frame has the exact date, time, minute and every detail about the day you tied the knot with each other. How romantic an idea is and this lovely addition will no doubt give a chance to relive that marriage day once more for both of you actually. Customize rose pillow: Your anniversary day somehow shows the new beginning of the next journey that you two will travel together. Therefore to be a part of that lovely journey, you thought to gift your wife a customized pillow. It is the pillow with imprinted roses on it because your wife loves to have roses in her room. That is why you got the idea that instead of gifting the real roses it would be wonderful to get the roses on the pillows. It is a customized one so you also got her name digitally printed on the cushion as well. Personalized photo pallet: For these years, every time you have gifted her the photo frames with lovely photos commemorating each year of your anniversary. But as this is the fifteenth anniversary so you thought to do something differently. That is why you got a wooden pallet with photos of your wife and you. The beauty of this pallet is that it is exquisitely customized where you captured the special moments of your wife and you. Now to surprise her mostly you thought to put up the pallet on one side of the wall in order to create the magic of fifteen years of togetherness. Heart-shaped silver box: You know that she loves to put all her collectibles in a single place that is why you got a thought that why not gift her something kind of that. So you picked a beautiful heart-shaped collectible box. But the tweak to the whole thing is that it is purely made of silver which has a shiny polished effect as well. On top of that, you also got your name imprinted on the silver box with a different color so that it remains in the spotlight. Therefore along with that gift you also thought to add a beautiful platinum ring inside that as well. Thus, the gift will definitely awe her and especially the ring inside that box which is completely a great surprise for her. Personalized anniversary diary: This is a special diary and specially crafted for the purpose of the anniversary. You thought that it would be a wonderful attempt to let your beloved wife jot down the most romantic memories she has with you. That is why you got a thought that to get this personalized anniversary diary which has a wooden cover with her name embossed on that. You gifted her with a thought that she would get a chance to write those lines and recreate the long-lost memories once again. Thus, these are some of the wonderful and unique anniversary gifts that you can always gift your beloved wife. Read Also: The Whos Whats And Hows Of Espadrilles A Fashion Gift Guide For Special Occasions

READ MOREDetails